Tuesday, 10 March 2015

The Highs and Lows...

The highs and lows of a roller coaster are fun, intense, adventurous, and scary in that "I think I might die but this is great fun" kind of way...

Not so much the highs and lows of emotions.  Especially when it feels like your life is out of control and unlike the roller coaster, its often not over in a few minutes with the promise of more fun....

I find, lately, my emotions are ALL OVER the place!  And it is FREAKING me out!  I am angry on one hand because it seems there is no good reason for this roller-coaster ride, and I DID NOT ask for it, and on the other hand I am very sad!  And this sadness also seems to be for no reason.

Sure, there are things going on in my life.  Sure, there are challenges.  Yes, I am experiencing some tough stuff.  But none of these things warrants the range of, or depth of my emotions.  If I were a professional (and believe me, I am not) I may say I am suffering from mild (and most unwelcome) depression!!!

Hmmm...  You know, if I dig deep and try to figure out what my emotions are all about, its almost as if I am going through the emotions of a loss.  Anger, sadness, frustration, that light at the end of the tunnel... seems.... too far away some days.  So weird, and so unwanted....

Am I the only one?

What I DO know is this....
  • With God, all things are possible (Matt 19v26: Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible")
  • His word heals, restores (Jer 30v17(a): But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds)
  • He is the only and ultimate and complete solution to any problem (Psalm 33v4: For the word of the Lord is faithful and true, He is faithful in all He does)
  • Spending time in His word and His presence, ALWAYS brings change, good change...(Romans 10v17: So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ)
  • God is faithful and true and stands by His word (Numbers 23v19: God is not a man that He should lie.  He is not human, so He does not change His mind.  Has He ever spoken and failed to act?  Has He ever promised and not carried it through?)

So I am spending more time in the word.  And I am leaning into Him!  I am seeing change.  Not so much in my emotions but more in the fact that I am turning to the Lord and His way, His word, sooner.  He is the ultimate solution to all my problems and yours.  

I am not writing this for sympathy.  I am writing this knowing that somewhere out there, someone is feeling the same way I do right now and I want to encourage you, THERE IS light at the end of the tunnel.  God's light WILL ALWAYS dispel the darkness.  The only way to make the darkness recede is to fill it with light, God's light.  One candle, one match, one blimp of light chases away the darkness.  Darkness must and will flee from the light.  

Let God be your light!  His light does not go out, nor does His light run low on power.  His is the One True Light! 

God bless

PS:  David suffered depression when he was on the run from Saul and I believe his way of dealing with his depression was to worship the Lord and trust Him for his salvation physically and mentally.  I found this for myself too when I feel down and low.  Remember that scripture:  Psalm 43v5:  Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Saviour and my God.  This is my medicine for the depression in my life... maybe in yours?

With each post I do this year I am going to end off with #wisdom. This will be where I try to understand the wisdom of what the Lord is teaching here.

#wisdom What is the Lord teaching me here about wisdom?

The wisdom in the above post for me is to spend time in God's word, NO MATTER HOW YOU FEEL.  And I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that God's word has changed and will continue to change me.  I also know I am human, and fully fallable.  It humbles me that God's mercies are new every morning.  It tells me He knows we have daily struggles.  It is HIS wisdom I seek.  Not the worlds....


  1. We are at "that age now" sure your hormones are playing nice?

  2. Sometimes I think when our spirits are downcast, it is because they are crying out for God. Our spirits need God like our body needs water. Maybe it is a type of homesickness because we are working our way homeward - and sometimes the journey is either 1) so hard, or 2) feeling lost, like we're in a layover waiting for our journey to continue maybe even because we don't know how to handle pausing places in our lives. Sweet encouragement, Tracy - perfect for my mid-week and as I adjust to the new changes, the new routine and new way of living. I know you're not asking for sympathy - but I got'cha on a post-it now for prayer! Shalom sweet friend!

  3. Oh, my, YES, I surely can relate to all you said! I think one of the most frustrating parts is the not understanding why we feel this way. There are so many emotions that beyond our control. I empathize with you, friend. Trusting God to see you through this trying time and bring an evenness to the ups and downs. (Me, too, please, Lord!) Thank you for being so transparent...it is so refreshing.

  4. Tracy, I so recognise the subject, the emotions and the questioning. As you say - there are more of 'us' out there. Good to feel not so alone on this journey. Gives comfort and hope. Thank you for sharing. Sending loving, encouraging thoughts and prayers to you.

  5. Jesus is our wisdom, we must get to know Him better! Amen.

  6. I believe we should rejoice, feeling sad. When our hopes are not met, we become sad, and we question our capabilities and power. But what is rewarding is faith, and not hope, and faith means being in a state of sorrow, working in a calling. The joy of faith is not the feeling of power, but the feeling of righteousness. So we should be glad when we are sad.



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