Did God allow this to protect me? I don't know, because in so doing, others got hurt. I would have preferred to be able to protect them. In fact I think it would be fair to say that it was my job to protect them. But, I was clueless, therefore did not extend the protection....
What if God allowed this hurt for a reason? When you examine the life of Job you can see the point, Job would serve God no matter the cost. But it all seems like such a senseless game with a man's life, to prove a point? I don't think so. I can only imagine that there was and is a much higher plan that God had in mind. So too here then. God must have a much higher plan than I am able to fathom.
I feel I should be angry, at myself, at others, at the situation.... But there is no anger! Just incredible sadness. Sadness that these things could even happen, that they happened and I was blind to it, that spiritually I never sensed anything.... One could eventually create a huge rod with which to beat oneself up....
And then onto things to which all this world of hurt has led.... the present! Stuff I again should have been spiritually in tune with. Why am I not seeing these things? Is it because its not my life that is being impacted directly and because God has a plan in all this, He keeps me blinded to it all? I am impacted there is no doubt!!!! But peripherally...... Its the hurt and damage to others and how it affects them that is affecting me. I feel its not mine to pick up, not my path to walk, but feel so burdened by what, if anything, I can do about it. Right now, I just feel I can be there. But in seeing and not understanding the hurt, I feel I am insensitive to the emotions and impacts and thus not very much help at all.
I can only trust that the Lord has a much bigger plan than I can see or imagine. I can only trust that what has been intended for harm, God WILL use for good. I can only trust His word that says vengeance is His and He will extract it. I can only trust Him... That is all I can do.... and pray! That too! A weapon of immeasurable strength and impact!
Gen 50 vs 20: As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present outcome, that many people would be kept alive [as they are this day].
Rom 12 v 21: Do not be overcome and conquered by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Isaiah 55 v 8 - 9: “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. (9) “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts.