After a night of tossing and turning and feeling like a failure I determined the following morning to have a quiet time. I needed to be centred by the Word of God. I needed to read His Word and absorb it and have the gentle waves of His love wash over me.
And what usually happens when I go to the word is I find something that helps me step back into line! Yes, the Lord admonishing me. I read of His love for me, but at the same time, I read of how my behaviour affects others. The scripture I read is Prov 25 v 28: Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.
Okay okay, I get it! That which I don't have control over, has control over me. Yep! My "city" has broken walls because I am unable to control my temper or my emotions. Sigh! I am not strong enough myself to get to grips with this weakness but God is my strength. He will help me! He will change me as I seek Him out and focus on His word and on relationship with Him.
Although I felt really low about all this, the Lord reminded me while I was listening to praise music, that He loves me and nothing I do will remove His love from me. I have done what I can do now, I've apologised, and spent time in the word, and now I trust the Lord to help me restore. He is so gracious with us when we humble ourselves before Him.
My encouragement to you is no matter how you feel you have tripped up, God will be there for you. He is just waiting for you to reach out to Him and He reaches right back.
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